Some people would describe me as anti social, others would say I’m bitchy if you don’t know me, but I like to think of myself as someone that takes my time with new people. Throughout my childhood years I had my friends that I spent first through third grade with. Then after changing schools in the fourth grade I made the friends that I still have and consider my best friends to this day. After staying in the same, very small school from the fourth till twelfth grade, my friends became like family. Occasionally, I would meet someone new with the occasional newbie at school or through traveling with different clubs, but I never got too invested with those people. Not until I started college, and was left alone in Miami when all my friends went away for school, did I ever have the need to make new friends. So after spending the first three weeks of college basically solo-dolo, I decided to go through sorority recruitment and see if it would be something I could enjoy.
My mother told me I wouldn’t enjoy having to commit to all the involvement and being surrounded by all the girls. If I had listened to her I wouldn’t have rushed and I would have gone through college eating lunch in the library alone. “There’s nothing is wrong with that” she said, and I agreed with her but I didn’t want to be that girl. My mother ONLY has two friends outside of her sisters and works from home. On a daily basis she only interacts with my siblings and I. I BARELY believe her when she talks about having a social life once upon a time because she is THE MOST antisocial person on the planet.
So I went through recruitment and found a home with my organization. I immediately clicked with the sisters I met during recruitment week and was looking forward to further getting to know them. During my new member process it took me some time to warm up to people but once I did, I started to really connect with the women I was getting to know. The rest is history. Everyone I now know I met in Greek life or through someone in Greek life.
I made amazing friends in college and expanded my circle tremendously. I have close girlfriends and guy friends that I love and cherish with everything in me. They have been there for me through some incredibly tough times and have supported me in ways I will never be able to repay. The memories that we all made in college are hilarious, fun, and those that I will cherish forever and ever.
For my circle of friends in high school, all of our growing up took place along side each other. All of our experiences were shared as we were living them. There was never a need to share or retell any of those moments to anyone because we were all in it together. In college getting to know my friends was fun and exciting since I literally hadn’t done it since I was a kid. Learning about how my childhood and teenage years differed or related to all the new people in my life was interesting and eyeopening. I learned about other upbringings and ways of life that I didn’t have a context for before college. Just like everything that I was learning in school was broadening my view of the world, so was everything I was learning and experiencing outside of the classroom.
At this point in my life I very rarely like meeting and getting to know new people unless its going to be a romantic interest. I realized a while back that I don’t really enjoy the process of getting to know people or having to tell people about myself. I find it incredibly exhausting and quite annoying. “Like why don’t you know that I grew up singing in the choir or that I am allergic to everything in life? Everyone knows this, c’mon.” During my childhood and high school years I never really felt like I needed new people and I was satisfied with the circle I had. So now that I have established friendships with great people, I am once again very content with them. I have invested my time, energy, and emotions into the connections I now have, and I’m tapped out.
If someone comes along at this point and I don’t immediately become obsessed with them, chances are that I am not going to spend any of my time really trying to get to know them. I can be friendly and cordial with people that come along and see out and about, but really fostering a connection beyond that ain’t gon’ happen. I don’t really have the patience or any desire to retell all those tales of my past to anyone that isn’t gonna put a ring on it. Hopefully I don’t move have to move away any time soon and get forced into having to build a new life elsewhere, because I’m good right now.
P.S. This is starting to carry over into my dating life but thats a totally different story and obstacle for me to overcome so I’m not alone forever.
P.S.S I’m becoming my mother little by little. She says that once upon a time she had friends but she slowly started to drift and drop people until the circle consisted of the two that remain. I’m almost positive that she started out like this too. Pray for me.